Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Meet @SteveNewlinJr

Name: Reverend Steven Newlin

Since you seem to keep busy being a religious zealot, what brought you to Twitter to spend your spare time?:

First off, I am not a “zealot” in the negative connotation you spit from your sinful mouth and God knows where that mouth has been… If I am a Zealot, it would be in the traditional meaning based in Biblical history. A Zealot was a member of a fanatical sect arising in Judea during the first century and militantly opposed the Roman domination of Palestine. Much the same as I militantly oppose the liberal based, vampire loving, hedonistic movement that is threatening the foundations of righteousness and the survival of Humanity!

As for Twitter, my estranged wife @SarahNewlin told me about it. I can only assume she heard about it from some of the young male recruits at LODI, pillow-talk not doubt. Anyway, I looked into it and it appeared to be a way to spread God’s Word through a social networking venue. I monitored, or is the term “lurked”, on Twitter for a short while. I found it to be a cyber version of Sodom and Gomorrah. The foul language, sexual innuendos and copious numbers of Nocturnal Parasites “tweeting” through the night begged for the healing words of Jesus.

My mouth, Rev? Excuse me? I am a Belle, a lady, not some fangbanger! Speaking of which, I heard @VampireBill say that @SarahNewlin invited him into your home, can’t say I blame her. AT.ALL. Have you upped your security at the homestead since then?:

You say that you heard @SarahNewlin invited @VampireBill into my home. I can assure you that was a lie! She may have invited every stray “horndog” young man within 100 miles, but not a vampire! In fact, if she had invited a vampire inside do you not think that I would already be dead, drained of every drop of my blood? As you can see I am very much alive.

Vampires can not be trusted; they lie as easily as a politician. They tell you what you want to hear or glamor the weak-minded into submission.

Security doesn’t seem like your strong suit. Neither does henchmen. They seem to be killed while in your employ. Did the authorities ever discover what happened to @RobinHarsh?:

As for my Heads of Security, you are correct I have not had much luck with them. The life expectancy of my Head of Security has been the same as that of a fangbanger! The police have not found any trace of @RobinHarsh, they have ruled him missing presumed dead. He was a creepy guy! Oh sure he had boyish charm but to be honest I think he liked the ladies a bit too much!

I am currently seeking a new Head of Security. If you know of anyone please forward their information to me. We have a great health, dental and vision benefits plan, but unfortunately we can no longer offer life insurance.

You’ve been separated from your wife for a few months now. Any chance of you rekindling your marital flame or perhaps a date with @_Amanda_Jayne?:

Jesus teaches us to turn the other cheek and so I have. I trusted @SarahNewlin a second time and she was in cahoots with those Stackhouse fangbangers and brought vampires into our Fellowship. Many good people were hurt that night. I have run out of cheeks to be slapped, well that is unless I drop my pants! As for @_Amanda_Jayne I have not heard from her much since the night @SarahNewlin brought the vampires to attack us. @_Amanda_Jayne was so brave in the face of those demons, but I think I may have seen the last of her (sigh).

Being a Belle, I probably shouldn’t say this, but you are one of the funniest men on Twitter. Is there anyone who makes you laugh?:

What? I’m funny? What do you mean by that? I am not trying to be funny! I’m fighting a war here to save Humanity from the Nocturnal Parasites! Don’t you understand that these Demons from Hell are destroying our friends and families? Oooooh, nice shoes! What are they Jimmy Choos? *smirk*(I think the Rev has been lurking @smeykunz’s stream)

And now for a question or two for the man behind the mask…..

Do you identify with the character of Steve Newlin at all?:

I do identify with the romantic notion of his quixotic approach to addressing the issues he believes in.  However, I by no means see things as purely good or purely evil as he sees them.

Why did you really come to Twitter? It couldn’t have been to kill Vampires.:

Well, you want to know about “the man behind the Newlin mask”, he is a husband that works all day and just wants dinner. My wife was on Twitter as @SarahNewlin in June, spending all her time tweeting or lurking the TB RPers. So, in an effort to spend time with my wife… @SteveNewlinJr was born. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Still no dinner though, I’m very hungry….

[Via http://billsbelles.wordpress.com]

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