Raising 5 Disabled Children Brings Lessons of Cooperation

The first time I read her blog “Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities” I was inspired.

Not only because she is helping children in need, as that is one of my lifelong passions. Not only because she so eloquently let’s us into her life via her blog. But also because she is a living example of positive collaboration.

Lindsey Peterson is the mom of five bright and beautiful children. The only slight difference is they all have disabilities. Her family, which includes both adopted and not, is one of love. It is a chosen path of helping others have a better life…with a few moments of frustration, sibling rivalry and temper tantrums thrown in.

Her story intrigued me. Reading through her entertaining entries, I knew I wanted to talk to this woman of inspiration more. She was kind enough to sit down with me, virtually of course. Here is what she had to share…

EH: Had you always wanted a large family?

LP: I never really thought about having a large family. I only knew that it felt good to help people. My whole life I’d volunteered at various places to be with people. I have been volunteering with a recreational group of adults with disabilities for more than 35 years. They are wonderful friends and THEY inspire me to be a better person. Adding to our own family became a natural extension of that. If I could have that happiness on the twice a week this group met, why not have it every day in my life? It was FUN to raise kids. Plus, I am not the best housekeeper, so my rationalization was that if I have 5 kids to take care of, washing the floor does not have a priority. I’d much rather take care of kids than clean!!

EH: What inspired you to adopt initially?

LP: When I was pregnant, I desperately wanted a daughter because my mother and I had such a great relationship. I had a difficult labor, (I had actually fallen down the stairs before the birth and bent my tailbone in, so the only way the baby could come out was by bending it back out again, and that took FOREVER!) When my son was born, bless him, I was SO disappointed. The very day he was born I decided to adopt because that would be the only way I could guarantee a daughter. My husband, of course, didn’t agree so readily and attributed my decision to adopt based on the long labor I had just been through! Then, as it turned out, my son had hereditary blindness. Problem solved. Because it was hereditary, my husband did not want to risk having another biological child, so he agreed to adoption. We chose Guatemala because the adoption agency we chose sponsored an orphanage there so we knew the children were well cared for. Our son Francis was 2 when we adopted our daughter, Dinora. We have the CUTEST picture of her sitting in the infant seat and Francis holding her head in one hand so he could find her mouth to feed her bottle with the other hand. He loved her as though she were a fuzzy pet.

EH: What was the initial reaction of your birth children when they learned that you would be adopting?

LP: Francis was glad to have Dinora initially, although as she grew she became the aggressive one and would jump on him and tackle him from an early age. Fortunately she was pretty loud and had heavy footsteps, so he could hear her coming and get out of the way.

After a few years with Dinora, we decided we wanted more children, but could not afford another international adoption, (which can be VERY expensive.) I knew a friend who did foster care and was able to adopt the first baby she fostered. GREAT, I thought, you could have a child for FREE! Little did I know, but soon learned, was that most foster children do not end up being adopted by their foster families. We ended up having 14 foster babies before we were able to adopt Steven. We were all careful not to get toooooooo attached to the babies because chances were they would go to live with a family member or, heaven forbid in some cases, be returned to their birth parents. I had to look at it like we were doing a good thing and giving these babies a head start in life but I prevented myself from getting attached. Besides, I LOVED babies, and I’d much rather play with a baby than wash the floor. We did only take male babies because Dinora herself expressed extreme jealousy if we were to consider a girl.

By the time Steven was adopted, he had already lived with us for 3 years and the permanent transition was easy. Then we had another foster boy we planned to adopt. We had him from birth to age 3. His grandmother had tried to get custody, but because she was 76 years old they had denied it. We were in the middle of the adoption process when the court reversed their decision and decided to let the grandmother adopt him. She turned out to be a lovely woman and we invited the her, (from Puerto Rico) to come and stay with us during the adoption process to ease the transition. We still have contact with them and he visits with us every summer. However, because we had thought he was going to be our son, we had become attached, and his leaving was the most devastating thing that ever happened to our family. Although I wanted more children, we didn’t want to go the normal foster care route. So, we took in a 3 year old who had been in 5 foster homes and was currently in a nursing home for children with AIDS. He had been born HIV positive, but, as happens frequently, his mother’s HIV antibodies left his system and he became HIV negative. Because of his HIV status and the fact he had been in foster care for 3 years, AND the fact that his birth mother had 6 other children removed from her and they were living in foster homes because there was no family to claim them, they could pretty much guarantee we would be able to adopt him if we took him in as a foster child, and we ended up doing this.His name was Angel. My other children accepted Angel automatically, (they were used to babies in the house anyway.) The funny thing was, Angel did NOT, (nor has he EVER,) accepted THEM! He has always been intensely jealous and he often tells me he wishes he were our only child!

We thought we were done adopting, but then a call came in requesting we take in a 7 year old girl who was profoundly deaf. (They called because I know American Sign Language.) It was supposed to be on a temporary basis, but when she was 10 we ended up adopting her. Dinora was, and still is, resentful because she wants to be the only daughter. She was in college at the time, and my feeling was she wasn’t even living with us, but she has never accepted Marie fully. Angel and Steven hated her, as only brothers can hate their little sisters.

EH: How is their acceptance today with their adopted brothers and sisters?

LP: Francis loves them all. He was the first child and had his special time as an only child, plus he is now 27 and does not live at home. He especially enjoys using American Sign Language with Marie. The other children have a tolerance for one another but are not especially close. The whole family has learned sign language and we use it regularly at meals and any time we talk. Well, MOST of us use it all the time. Angel take special delight in talking without signing on purpose so Marie does not know what he is talking about!

EH: What is your biggest challenge in raising children with special needs?

Honestly, my biggest challenge was in learning not to care what other people think. I have always been that way to some extent, but when you have a child with Asperger’s syndrome having a meltdown on an airplane for 2 hours, it would be enough to make most parents crazy. (Even my husband went to hide in the back of the plane.) We have had the ambulance at our house many times and my children have had to be restrained many times, especially may daughter Marie who has serious Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to early childhood abuse. She has a history of flipping out and hitting, spitting, biting and so forth. (She reminds me of when Helen Keller was under the table when the family was first eating.) She looks like a wild animal, glaring eyes, messy hair, no concept of what is going on around her. It has been a learning process, but I have learned to calm myself during their most dramatic episodes. Now I am so calm I make sure I bring my “hospital purse” with me that has a bottle of diet coke and a large print book to read for those long emergency room visits!

EH: Where do you find the most support?

LP: Support…support…what’s that? My basic support is spiritual. Just me and God. Calming. I do not generally share my problems with others, so most of my friends and work acquaintances do not know the extent of their problems. This is the main reason doing the blog is so therapeutic.

EH: Can you share a story of how your adopted children have brought joy into your life?

LP: Oh, there are too many stories to share!!!!!! Watching Marie, who is profoundly deaf, learn to dance by feeling the vibrations of the base on the wood floor. Being at DInora’s college graduation with honors despite numerous psychiatric problems plaguing her through her 4 years there. Seeing Steven’s eyes light up when he is crouching on the ground in the woods trying to catch a snake, and his sheer delight when he catches it! Watching Angel mingle with the elderly at a nursing home, dispensing hugs and complements. Knowing Francis lives a wonderful and full life despite blindness because of the way we have raised him, (especially looking at the picture he sent me while skiing in the Swiss Alps with the caption “See, Mom, no trees!” because he knows I was always petrified he would ski into a tree!) They all spend time volunteering and helping others which proves to them that their disabilities are NOT disabling. Every day of their lives bring joy into my life, even the “bad” days. I am thankful that I have found them and that they have found me, and I am so proud of the many obstacles they have overcome.

EH: What aspects to your personality have developed from assisting children in need?

LP: My personality has been the same since childhood and living with a brother who is severely multiply disabled. I learned to accept everyone and to believe in the value of all human life. I think back to that old Sunday School picture “God Don’t Make Junk”. I have always helped others, even in elementary school. It is the part of my personality that led to the development of our family in the first place.

EH: If a genie granted you one wish, what would that be?

LP: Oh, of course I would say “World Peace”, but that would sound corny. I think a practical wish would be for people to develop more tolerance towards each other and to learn to love one another despite our differences. Less selfishness and more selflessness.

EH: What is the most important way that we can help others, in your opinion?

LP: It is important to respect the dignity of others. That means saying hello to the developmentally disabled man in the grocery store. Smiling at the mother who has a baby with deformities and telling her she has a beautiful child, (because, honestly, to HER, that child is beautiful!) Helping the person next to you who is deaf who is trying to get his point across at the store service counter, (grab a paper and pencil.) If people have time, I strongly encourage volunteering. It can be as simple as visiting a nursing home to play cards with a resident, serving a meal at a homeless shelter, or gathering clothes for those in need. If everyone in the world just did one little thing to help others, there would be a huge ripple effect that would improve the world.

[Via http://eraofcollaboration.com]

Interview: Chris Wehage, a Full Speed Ahead component-design mastermind

Q&A with Kris Wehage, Research and Development Team Leader for FSA

In the bike world, freestyle riders and racers get the limelight, but evolution in bike components wouldn’t happen without the dialed skills of the industry’s designers and engineers. For more than five years, Kristopher Wehage’s creative mind has conjured up innovative designs for brands like e.thirteen and Full Speed Ahead. Wehage recently took over as Research and Development Team Leader for FSA’s U.S. office. Behind the scenes, he’s your typical quiet engineer with an image often overshadowed by the pros his company sponsors. But the guy speaks several languages, has lived Austria, Germany, and now Seattle, and can ride circles around most. Here’s some insight into the designer who just might be behind the light weight components you’ll be riding next summer.

How did you get your start in cycling?

When I was 14, a few friends and I heard about mountain biking and decided to give it a try. We took our beat-up Huffies to a local trail and had a blast. After that I was hooked: I saved up my lawn mowing money to buy my first real mountain bike. I started working in bike shops at 15, and I tried to absorb every bit of knowledge I could about cycling.

What kind of riding do you typically do?

In the past I’ve dabbled in trials, bmx street riding, cross country racing and dual slalom. These days, I do mostly all-mountain style riding. I also try to push myself to do a few epic rides a year.

Any recent ones?

My most recent epic trip was a circumnavigation of Lake Tahoe. A few friends and I rode about 100 miles off-road in two days. We rode our mountain bikes on some pretty technical trails, carrying our food and camping gear in our backpacks. The year before that I finished the Cascade Cream Puff, a 100-mile mountain bike race with 18,000 feet of climbing.

How does it feel to know people are riding bike parts that you designed?

I was shocked to open a cycling mail-order catalog a few years ago and see the first road brakeset I designed for FSA right there next to Campagnolo and Shimano. I’m glad people are excited about the things I’ve designed. It feels great to contribute in some small way to cycling culture.

Give us peak into the design process.

The first step in a design is to brainstorm ideas and set goals for the project. At the beginning of the design phase, it’s good to get feedback from team riders, co-workers, and friends to determine what people are looking for. Once I have a good feel for the design criteria, I’ll brainstorm some ideas (usually together with Ron and Evan, the other two designers in the U.S. office). I’ll then make a few pencil sketches to illustrate those ideas.

In the second phase of the design, I’ll take those initial concepts and draw them in 3D on the computer. I’ll do calculations to make sure the product meets the weight, performance and/or safety targets we set out.

Once I’m confident in the 3D drawings, we create a bill of materials and 2D engineering drawings with tolerances and suggestions on how to manufacture the parts for our manufacturing engineers. As most of our prototypes are made in Taiwan, usually I’ll go to Taiwan to ensure that everything goes smoothly.

I then work with the factory to ensure that it goes through rider and machine testing. If the product passes testing, it goes in to production. If it does not pass testing, I either go back to the drawing board to refine the design or work with the manufacturing engineers to determine if a part is not made to spec.

Which design(s) are you most proud of?

I really like the Gravity Light crankset I designed together with our industrial designer, Inigo Gisbert. I also am proud of the FSA road caliper brakesets and the LG1+ and SRS+ chainguides I drew up for Dave Weagle while working at e.thirteen. I’ve also got some other interesting products in the works that have not hit the market yet.

Is there any theme to emerging technology?

From a design perspective, consumers are demanding a bicycle that looks cohesive and seamless more now than ever. This means the frame’s headtube should naturally blend into the stem and the handlebars; the downtube should blend nicely into the bottom bracket area and transition smoothly to the cranks, etc. Molded carbon fiber and hydroformed aluminum have allowed frames and components to be more ergonomic and visually appealing. Ideally the colors and graphics should coordinate well.

Related to the theme of integration, I believe we’ll also be seeing more electronics and sensors integrated in to bicycles and components in the coming years. As more manufactures offer features such as electronic shifting, power measurement and GPS for bicycles, prices will come down and the technology will become more accessible.

Is it hard to leave the creative thinking at the office?

Every day I’m surrounded by design – for example: the furniture I sit on, my toothbrush, my car, etc. I’ve been interested in architecture and design from a young age, so it’s difficult for me not to think about how I interact with designed objects (cycling related or otherwise). Sometimes an idea for a project I’m working on comes to me while I’m out riding, hanging out with friends, or in the middle of the night.

What’s it like working for FSA?

We have a very diverse culture at FSA. I’d say in general that our Italian headquarters is a little more road-centric, the U.S. office is a little more focused on mountain biking and the Taiwan office brings a culture of manufacturing. But each of the employees in the three offices bring their unique background, culture, personality and experiences to the table. It can be a little crazy sometimes, but it’s always exciting and challenging.

What bikes do you ride?

I primarily ride my Ibis Mojo SL and a custom steel randonee bike I designed and put together with Oscar Camarena at Simple Bicycle Co. I’ve also got a Rock Lobster single speed rigid mountain bike, a Kink bmx bike, and a Rossin fixie.

Are you abs super toned from the balance ball you sit on at work, instead of an office chair?

No, maybe I’m doing something wrong? Probably eating too many burritos.

Anything else we should know about you?

My favorite color is green.

[Via http://blacktypepress.com]

News Tidbits of the Day

People.com had a feature today of this season’s top 24 called “10 Idols Who Could Be Stars” and Andrew was featured. Here is what it says:

ANDREW GARCIA
AGE: 24
HOMETOWN: Moreno Valley, Calif.
STAR POWER: The proud papa of one-year-old son, Caeland, has a knack for “changing up songs,” and even brought dearly departed Paula Abdul back with his funky acoustic interpretation of “Straight Up.” “That was genius,” Kara said. “Paula would be screaming and yelling and clapping and dancing and dying.”

Check out Andrew and the other nine contestants People.com picked here.

Also, Inland Socal has provided us another article with Andrew about his history with the Inland music scene, check it out here.

[Via http://teamandrewgarcia.wordpress.com]

In My Head, She Said. launching of a website for interesting women of all types!

This fantastic project underway is looking for submissions by creative women of all genres to add their input and speak their mind. It’s an alternative way for diverse women to express themselves. Featuring very notable women and promises to be a very engaging project for all participants and readers alike.

Visit the website and submit your own person thoughts ~I’ve already given some of my input!

Cheers from Joey

Sister Cleophas says, this time you don’t have to behave!

http://www.inmyheadshesaid.com/

[Via http://jogabriel.wordpress.com]

This Old House: Trying Not to do Something

The dreamy tones of This Old House have been echoing throughout Denton more and more over the past few months.  Their music is a beautiful blend of folky melodies and spacey tones that equal one part lullaby and one part mind trip.  Singer Ryan McAdams and guitarist Kennon Talley joined me for a round of pool and a beer at the Loophole to discuss their recording, how the big Texas sky influences their sound, and how they get by with a little help from their friends. Andy Odom: You guys have only been together since last April.  How did you all meet? Ryan: Yeah, it’s been a little under a year, yeah.  We all started as friends, but we didn’t really plan on any musical ventures together.  We just had a lot of the same interests in music, the same dislikes and likes in bands.  Drew (McCarey, bass) and I started jamming but we weren’t trying to get anything done on purpose, then we added Kennon (Talley, Guitar) and Michael (Allison, drums), and we just added a Rhodes player, Jim (Harrington), less than two weeks ago. Kennon: Yeah, he played his first show with us at Rubber Gloves a month ago.  We’re real proud of him. AO: You mention that you all have the same likes and dislikes.  What are those and what influences have seeped in to This Old House? Ryan: Hmm.  (laughs) Kennon: (laughs) Well, I remember when Ryan called me up and said that he and Drew were playing some stuff and they wanted me to hear it.  I was expecting some cheesy singer/songwriter stuff, but I said “Yeah, sure, I’ll come check it out.”  And I was surprised.  It was real atmospheric, but not a tired post-rock type of atmospheric.  It’s more…earthy-atmospheric.  I know he has a background of more folky stuff and so do I, but… AO: There’s a more rootsy element? Kennon: Yeah. Ryan: I think we feel like a lot of Texas influences our music, as weird as that might sound… AO: Musically, or culturally, or… Ryan: I think both.  I think we started out more as a folk project, but it developed into something were we try not to do something.  A lot of people, or a band…they have an intention to go in and write something and sound a certain way.  With us, it’s “You do your part, and I’ll do my part, and we’ll see what happens.”  That’s why I like it so much. AO: How else does Texas influence the band? Ryan:  Um, our lyrics are real “open sky”, dream-pop kinda music.  It’s very open…like the Texas sunset.  It’s like Texas the way we see it. AO: Something about a slower pace to life? Kennon: Yeah.  I’m from a beach town, Corpus Christi.  We call it “Manana Land”, ya know, like, “Eh, we’ll do it tomorrow.” Ryan: Michael lived on a boat for, like, 8 years, Kennon’s from Corpus, Drew’s from Illinois, I’m from Brenham.  All middle of nowhere. AO: Yeah, where you’re from is going to have an impact on your music, if you like it or not, right? Both: Yeah. AO: And you guys are working on a new record with Kelly Upshaw of The Hope Trust, correct? Ryan:  I think right now what we want to do is use it for promo, not package it.  It would be nice to have some backing first. AO: Kennon, you’re in Western Giants as well as This Old House.  Is it hard to juggle multiple bands?  Is anyone else in other bands? Ryan: Jim is in Matthew Gray’s project Writer. Kennon: It really hasn’t been much of an issue.  Western Giants has the days we practice, and so does This Old House.  There’s only been one or two times where we tried to book a show, and I couldn’t because of the other band.  But, it’s worked out really well. AO: You talked earlier about being influenced by Texas in general.  Do you feel any attachment or pride about an association with something as specific as a “Denton Scene”? Ryan: I’m definitely proud to be a part of Denton.  I love what the guys from Midlake do; they’ve stuck around. Kennon: I love it.  I’m from Corpus, but I consider Denton to be my home now.  So, I have a lot of pride when it comes to Denton.  There’s a lot of respect that comes with Denton, too.  When you go out of town and say you’re a Denton band, there’s a “Oh, Denton. Cool!”  I’ve been getting a lot of e-mail from friends coming to SXSW that have heard about Denton, and they say “We really want to play Denton, too!” AO: Besides recording, what else is on the horizon for This Old House?  Do you have any shows coming up? Ryan: We have a gig down in Austin at the Mohawk with Appleseed Cast (Feb. 27th), which came out of nowhere.  The night after that, we’re playing Granada in Dallas opening for The Clientele (Feb. 28th).  So it’ll be two-day mini tour.  Those are the biggest shows we’ve played so far. AO: And that’s without any backing? Ryan: Matthew (Gray) has been helping us a lot.  Man, a lot of people have been helping us.  Sarah Jaffe has helped us.  Glen (Farris) has been great; he helps us book shows.  Shep from Rubber Gloves is one of my favorite people, he helps us out too.  We have some great friends. Kennon: Yeah, we’ve been pretty fortunate.

[Via http://distinctlysmartwax.wordpress.com]

Reid Says Reconciliation Likely on Health Reform

Democrats “will finish their health reform efforts within the next two months by using a majority-vote maneuver in the Senate, Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) said,” The Hill reports.

The majority leader said that while Democrats have a number of options, they would likely use the budget reconciliation process to pass a series of fixes to the first healthcare bill passed by the Senate in November. These changes are needed to secure votes for passage of that original Senate bill in the House.

"We’ll do a relatively small bill to take care of what we’ve already done," Reid said, affirming that Democrats would use the reconciliation process. "We’re going to have that done in the next 60 days."

Reid said that the “final Democratic bill is likely to be unveiled Monday night.”

(credit image – associated press)

[Via http://senatus.wordpress.com]

ESTEVAN ORIOL - ALTAROMA DAY II

Estevan just sent me over a ton of videos and asked me to release them slowly. The big guy has made his way over to Italy from his last stop in Mexico.

I just spoke with Eriberto Oriol in regards to our upcoming interview with him and it will be posted soon, so sit tight.

[Via http://xwhereeaglesdarex.wordpress.com]